The Things I love

Did I mention I love Chalk?

 

I remember drawing a castle for a little boy on the rough cement at the park.

I remember taking coal from the outdoor furnace of our house and using them to draw on the moss-covered walls.

I remember scraping away.

I remember playing oracle -- interpreting the lines I made and the lines that are already on the walls.

I remember the rain washing them away.

I remember empty walls. 

I remember starting over...ephemeral...simple...hmm...I do remember.
And now...my childhood has a different interpretation. The medium has reached the market.
Everything seems owned now...patents...right to ideas...what is the limit?

to control? to own? to possess?
There is nothing original in this world.
There is nothing that another person have not thought of already...
And yet nothing is exactly the same.
Even the same person cannot recreate something exactly the same way
s/he did something the first time.
Fleeting...short-lived...momentous...existential?
And did I mention I love chalk?

Well...these previous lines were just random thoughts about
how I saw chalk as an art and how it is changing today.
Recently, I had the opportunity to talk to a wonderful young woman of whom
I share the same sentiments about art--if I may say. We have the same dilemma
concerning being an art student. But our difference is--I made up my mind before she did...
that I will follow what my heart. She's still in the valley of decision.

I am from a family that immigrated to Canada believing that we will have better opportunities here than when we were at the Philippines. And as many other Filipino immigrant parents here in Canada, specially in Montreal, Quebec, think that the best way to a stable life is being in the medical field--I am caught in the midst with the question--What is the value of art vs science?

When I first got here, I really didn't know what to do with my life. I was pursuing a Bachelor's degree in Psychology when I was in the Philippines. I only needed to do my stage, finish my thesis and one year college to get my degree--but then I had to go here with my family. And so when my mom said I needed to go to school right away so I wouldn't miss another year from school--I just took everybody's advice and tried Nursing.

But it didn't take long for me to realize that, this isn't for me. So I started speaking about it. But they said I was doing the right thing and that if I will only endure I'd be better off to do whatever I wanted. So I did that for one semester. I passed okay. So I continued to my second semester. I was doing--okay. I was passing my exams. But then I got into the hospital and I was like--"No. It's not working for me." I failed the nursing evaluation. Summer went by and that line just simmered in my soul. But I still signed up for it the third time thinking I just need to endure and soon it'll be over and I can do what I want. But then, the thought keeps playing over and over in my head, what if I switched now? Is it too late? I was a prisoner of my fears.

The sunk cost fallacy is manifested when we have a greater tendency to continue an endeavor once an investment in money, effort or time has been made. This troubled me my whole summer and even while I am already in class last autumn. I've invested so much to give up now. But then, realizing how much I have invested already, and yet I feel awful, just goes to show that going through with this ain't worth it. And so, I dropped my major courses in that semester and only took the four general courses I had because it was a little too late for me to get courses added.
I made up my mind and took my first leap of faith.

Winter semester came and I finally switched to Communications. A lot of people shake their heads and frown at me for my decision. But then, this time, I have no one to blame for any failure I go through. This is my choice now and I am the one who will suffer for it--so what? This time I have no regrets. This time, I'm doing what I love. No matter how much time, money and effort I out into it. I don't mind. I'm going to do what I love--or die trying.

So going back to the friend I was talking to, I was showing her all the wonderful things I've been doing in my new program. And I showed her about this artist who's style uses chalk and vintage letter forms. We both had the same thing in mind: "Hey, I can do that too!" I told her, "What I've learned is that nothing really is original in this world. There's nothing under the sun that no one haven't thought of already. It's just a matter of who actually stands up, do something about it, and call it his own." All the "who's to blame", shame, doubt, regret, or guilt game won't bring us anywhere. We just have to go and do it. She agrees with me and continues to say that no one really knows what the future has in store. That this is her life and that it is for her to discover. Now, I'm praying she makes the right choice for herself--not as anyone else would plan it for her.

I guess life really is like a drawing board:
you get overwhelmed by the "what ifs" you end up not putting anything on it at times
you wouldn't like what you see the first time you scribble at it.
once you start, it's never the same
when you think what you did looks like a mess, sometimes you leave it at that
sometimes things turn out the way you didn't expect them to be
sometimes for the best, sometimes not so
you take a wet rag and wipe away what you did
you try again, but then your board is not dry and ready and so you wait
something will eventually come, but it wouldn't happen unless your hands start working.

Who would've thought your childhood past time will be someone's means for living?
A good friend of mine sent me a link to this lady, and this started all the fresh interest for art in me.

Graphic Designer Dana Tanamachi 

It's like chalk "rediscovered".

This was a design made by the company Coming Soon.